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The actual stories
ombie-school apocalypse pt.1
In the 10th grade hall there was a science lab. They were making dry ice, and some retard poured Diet Coke in his formula. It fizzed, then the bottle blew up and his entire formula disappeared. It became invisible and was already possessing every one of their bodies.
Mrs. Hawt's math class was taking place. There were 10 dumbass students sleepin' and kissin' and all that shit."ok now take out your textbooks kids!" the bimbo teacher said."I'm gonna take my cock on her ass," said a horny student. Mike, Zoey, Billy Bob, Jenny, and Justin were gathered together talking about black ops 2 and their periods, when a zombie busts down the door and chews some dude's neck off."Holy Crap! It's a hooker!" yelled mike."No, It's a zombie!" Mrs. Hawt pulled out a .44 and capped the zombie. While mike was t-bagging the zombie carcass, the other kids loaded up and went out to the hall. Justin ran towards the horde."FOR NARNIA!!!!!!!!!" He got killed and didn't even use a single bullet. The other 6 students off'd themselves, so it was zoey, mike, jenny and Mrs. Hawt. They escaped into the cafeteria. In the cafeteria, there was a single ghetto picnic bench with a pole sticking out the middle and into the ceiling. The zombies burst through the doors and ran for them."I will distract them!" said Mrs. Hawt. She ripped off her shirt and pole danced on the table. Zoey and jenny had to drag mike away so he would stop masturbating. Jenny broke her high heels and fell. Zoey and Mike escaped to a closet. Mike asphyxiated himself, so zoey ran out, took her hand and bitch-slapped the closest zombie. Then, all of a sudden, everyone turned normal, except zoey, who died.
Zombie school apocalypse pt.2It's been a year since zoey died. She bitch-slapped a zombie with such skankiness, that everyone was alive except her, The school crack-head decided crack wasn't enough. He got some acid, ecstasy, heroine, crack, pot, oxy cotton, and a couple cans of anti-freeze.He mixed it up in the toilet and sniffed that junk up.He turned into a high, superman zombie and went around humping people.
Mike, Jenny, Justin, and Billy Bob were in detention with Mrs. Hawt, who was sleeping in her seat with a marker-drawn penis on her face. Mike stood behind her, touching her, when the crack-head zombie came in and raped Justin."FOR NARNIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He dove in and was torn in half from his ass."Holy Crap! It's a black guy!" Mrs. Hawt woke up to see Mike rubbing her breasts."Mike, don't touch those! I need these puffy for working at the corner!" The crack-head nigga grabbed Jenny."No not now! I'm not ready to get HIV!" "Don't worry, I'll distract him! I already have 6 STDs!"Mrs. Hawt took a load and everyone else escaped. They went into the cafeteria,were the special ed kids were eating. Today was jumper cable Monday. The special ed kids was arguing whether a girl had milk hidden in their shirts. The zombie marched through the doors and took Billy bob by the overalls. "my Oxy cotton!" A special ed kid ripped Jenny's shirt right off and mike just started sweating. After Billy bob was done with, he grabbed Jenny. "my tits!" Mike grabbed grilled jumper cable and stuck them on his nipples. He heard that it makes masturbation more enjoyable. He shocked and killed himself, the special ed kid licking the other end of the jumper cable, and the crackhead zombie.
Zombie School Apocalypse Pt.3After 2 days the school was clean and not a single zombie attack. it was just Justin and jenny on Halloween.
But in hell, mike sat there, staring straight at the devil. "Holy crap! It's Snookie!" Mike says. "what, wa...-no im the devil and your in hell not new jersey!"
"oh! so zoey's here? "who the 'hell' is zoey? hhhhhahahaha!" the devil wheezed. "Hey mike," Zoey said
A feeling took over mike, a feeling that mike's penis hasn't felt for a whole zombie-school apocalypse."I like you mike," the devil said"so i'll give you a chance to get 3 wishes of your choice." Mike thinks. What is he best at? he's good at tennis, which involves hitting a ball. he's good at baseball, which is hitting a ball and running around. He's good at swimming, which involves getting himself professionally wet. Mike tied these together and came out with an idea that has hitting 2 balls in it and getting the balls wet.
"A masturbation contest." everyone gasped. No one has whacked it against the devil since the big sperming in '08. "Fine. It shall be done."
The whole hell was gathered around the bathroom. Mike and the devil were ready. Then, they began. Mike was smacking it, whacking it, jacking it, grabbing it, and realeasing it. The devil started to lose. With no other choice, he pulled out baby oil! He went quick as lightning. But mike knew the best liquid to use to jack off. Good ol' spit. He popped a loogie on his dick and soon his hand started to smoke. everyone heard a faint song.The song got louder as mike and the devil started tugging, jerking, and pulling even harder.soon all they could hear was grunting, sparks coming from Mike's junk. Mike was slipping. And not the good slipping. "mike you have to win!" Zoey shouted. she stole a microphone and started singing, "Baby your a fire work cum on let your colors jerk! Your going GRHHH RRRHRHRH GRRRRR!Like a lightning bolt you will cum!"
Then, jizz flew straight out of mike, and landed in zoey's eye! "ow!" Fine, you've 'beat' me. HHHHHHHCKKKKHAHAHA!" The devil coughed. "gimme my 3 wishes, dry." mike yelped. "wet! ok now 3 wishes. what are they?" Mike took some wet-naps and cleaned up."hmm... for me to be alive again... for zoey to be alive again..." "yay! zoey shouted with her hand over her eye. "And... Mrs. Hawt's pimp's number!" Then mike and zoey flew into the air. I few people jumped onto mike.
justin walks into class. Since it was halloween, everyone was in costumes. Justin was dressed as osama. Mrs. Hawt was dressed as the first lady pimp in the world except Russia. And Africa. And Mexico. And Chuck E. Cheese's. Then Mike appeared out of nowhere and a bunch of zombies that were clinging onto mike invade the school. "For allah!" Justin runs in and rips out some random chest bombs. He blew up and instead of any zombies dieing, they just ate him. mike, jenny, zoey and Justin(whos alive for some gay reason) ran into mrs. hawt's room. "lil' bitches, where da hell my money? just joking, its me, mrs. hawt. what do you need?" mrs. hawt is sitting in her chair counting money and using a shake weight. As mike jacked off to Mrs. Hawt, zoey explained about the zombies. " THEIR ARE ZOMBIES OUT THERE AND THERE GOING AROUND GANGBANGING EVERYONE AND-ow..." zoey covered her other eye. "sorry i have bad dick-to-eye coordination."They run outside attempting to escape, but they were surrounded."FOR NARRRRRNIA!" justin ran straight towards this fat-ass girl zombie and went up her skirt. everything went black. Then A white limo pulls up to them. 5 pimps get out and shoots down the entire crowd of zombies. Then they drive away. "who were those people?" mike asked. "oh, those are my pimps." mrs. hawt said.mike went rageface."SON OF A..."
Justin wakes up in this huge land. There was a lion standing in front of him. "For narnia?" The lion answered,"For Narnia."